Navigating Team Grief & Loss
Considering Individual Grief & Loss in the Workplace , it is necessary to also explore Team Grief & Loss for many of the same reasons. Sometimes, those who pass away are colleagues; managers or direct reports, coworkers we meet for coffee or lunch, and partners on teams. The loss of a person that may be a large part of our daily work environment can impact our emotions and performance, and coworkers may experience a kind of collective grief. Managing a team through collective grief and loss is rarely included in an organization’s bereavement policies, and likely not included in management or leadership training programs.
What can leaders do to support teams during a time of loss?
Acknowledge the Loss
Death and grief make many people uncomfortable; often at a loss for the right words. In an attempt to avoid any awkwardness, someone may resort to death-denying euphemisms or (worse) say nothing at all. As a leader, the first thing to do is acknowledge the loss with the team. Acknowledging and discussing the impact of the loss can help with the grieving process.
- Share a Message
When you become aware of the death of a team member, drafting a short message acknowledging the loss is helpful for the team to understand that something irreversible has indeed happened and acknowledge the human emotions about the loss that the team may experience. Ensure the message includes only factual information. It can be helpful to include, respectfully and with permission, factual information that the bereaved family may have shared. End your message with an open invitation for team members to have a one-to-one discussion with you, HR, or other available grief support, as needed. - Discuss It
You may acknowledge it at the very next team meeting or schedule a meeting to discuss. Share the agenda in advance so there is clarity on when the topic will come up and how long the team may spend on it. Acknowledging it on the team agenda will allow team members interested in being open to the discussion to come prepared, and allow team members who may find the discussion triggering to bow out respectfully. Conclude this discussion with an acknowledgment of triggers, reminding all team members to be aware of what may trigger them and to be sensitive to what may trigger others. Certain work situations may serve as reminders of the loss, and may trigger grief reactions unexpectedly - Share Only Facts
As humans, we strive to make sense of the situations and may speculate to close gaps in our reasoning and thinking. When dealing with loss and grief, it is critical to only share and discuss facts (no rumors or speculation). Acknowledge the potential feelings of frustration at the “not knowing,” and maybe discuss how rumors and speculation can be damaging.
Create Space for Emotions
Individuals may believe the expression of emotions in the workplace is not ideal. However, it is important for the grief process that individuals feel their emotions fully so it is appropriate to create space for individuals to express their emotions in a healthy way.
- Give the team permission to process their feelings and express themselves.
- Encourage them to speak factually and respectfully among themselves, and to support each other.
- Share corporate resources that are appropriate to use during this time, such as HR, EAP services, and time-off policies.
- Give permission to determine how they, as a team, may want to remember their lost colleague.
Be Transparent
The hardest part may be to acknowledge that even with the loss of a team member, the business must continue. This will require being transparent about how the team should proceed over the next few weeks and months. With sensitivity and tact, discuss how the team can acknowledge the loss and grief while still moving forward.
- Discuss how workloads will shift and change; how will job responsibilities be reallocated or paused?
- Share plans and timelines for backfilling the role and reassignment of workspaces.
- Agree on a plan for respectfully acknowledging the loss to customers and partners outside of the organization, if that might be necessary. Will partners or customers be aware of the missing team member? Will there be a lapse in service that has to be acknowledged? How will this loss affect others outside of the organization and what is the most appropriate way to acknowledge that change with those stakeholders?
- Bring in the right company resources to navigate these activities in a timely fashion, starting with the HR team.
Recognize the Individual Grief Journey
Even in collective loss, we all grieve differently. Every team member will have a unique journey. Some want to talk many times and need a lot of support due to the nature of their individual relationship with the deceased. Some may not have an emotional reaction or may choose not to engage in discussion or memorial services for the deceased. The emotional environment at work will be changed for a period of time, and everyone will have their own unique reaction to the loss.
Remember Yourself
As a leader, you are also a team member in need of support. Even if you believe you will not have a strong emotional response to the loss of the team member, you may be shouldering the grief of others.
- As you guide the team through this process, stay engaged with your support systems. That includes your HR business partner, your peers, and any other resources that can support you as you support your team.
- Grief can consume, so be sure to set clear boundaries with your team to protect your emotional self. Directing team members to other resources or services is the right thing to do. Don’t allow grieving team members to run to your office each time they experience a grief trigger. Discuss other steps they can take, and tools they can use when they have a difficult moment at work.
- Manage your individual grief journey.
Grief and loss can be difficult to navigate and will impact many aspects of a team. On the other side of this process know that the team will have changed. When teams experience a loss, there is a change in team membership as one team is lost and a new one joins. There can be a change in team dynamics as workload, roles, and responsibilities shift. There can be a change in interpersonal interactions, as the grief process impacts each individual. With the right leadership and interventions, a team can emerge from such a collective experience with an increased sense of belonging, a high degree of trust and openness, and contribute to team members’ psychological safety.
About the Author
Originally published at https://www.wyld.work on March 2, 2022.
